


Because I Love You

by Narlth



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 16:45:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5593534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narlth/pseuds/Narlth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur have been dating for a while, but once again Arthur is reluctant to let Merlin close to others who he holds dear. Leaving Merlin himself wondering over where he really stands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because I Love You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [digthewriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/digthewriter/gifts).



> For the Camelot_Drabble holiday exchange on LiveJournal
> 
> Beta'd by the lovely Polomonkey

The click of the door latch seemed unnaturally loud to Arthur, and he had to pause a moment to gather himself before opening the door, knowing the person on the other side would not be in a good mood. 

It wasn’t that he was nervous as such: no-Arthur _never_ got nervous, at least not that he would ever admit too. Now though, preparing to face his no doubt furious boyfriend, there was just a small flutter of anxiety in his chest. 

Finally opening the door he was met by two steely blue eyes poking out from between a low pulled beanie and a ridiculously fluffy, red scarf. 

Arthur force a smile onto his face, taking a step back to allow room for Merlin to enter. The dark haired man didn't speak for several long minutes, hanging up his outdoor gear, and making his way deeper into the familiar building. 

Arthur hesitated a moment, hand still on the open door, before he closed it and followed Merlin’s direction inside. 

Arthur found Merlin perched on the arm of one of his lounge chairs, long legs stretched out before him. If it had been any other day he would have admired the handsome form Merlin struck, casual pose, all long limbs and smooth lines, but now more pressing matters were at hand. 

“You can't continue to tell your family I’m only a friend and refuse to invite me over to join you for Christmas. I am not a plaything to be picked up and discarded at your leisure.” Merlin spoke first, crossing his arms over his chest, and levelling his stare at Arthur. “I’m your boyfriend, you’re supposed to like spending time with me.” His last sentence lacked most of the heat of his previous words, and it make Arthur’s heart drop. “Are you ashamed of me? Is that what all this is about?”

Mouth suddenly dry, it took Arthur a few seconds to get his answer out.

“Of course not.” He stepped closer, reaching hands out to rest on Merlin’s slim shoulders, “I love you.” He tried to pour every ounce of his feeling into the words, ignoring the way his heart pounded violently in his chest. 

Merlin’s eyes appeared to soften for a moment, and Arthur thought he had succeeded in get through to him, when his demeanor suddenly changed.

“Then you can’t just push me away whenever you’re scared Arthur!” Merlin said, throwing Arthur’s hands off of his shoulders. His eyes were narrowed and eyebrows drawn together.

Arthur took two steps back in shock, his blue eyes wide and searching.

The was a beat where the only noise was the harsh sound of Merlin’s breaths.

“Merlin, I-” He started to speak, wanting to explain but Merlin cut him off before he had the chance. 

“I’m not listening to one of your excuses again. You need to decide whether you do still want me as your boyfriend or not.”

Arthur was barely able to restrain himself at this, “Merlin…” He took a chance approaching Merlin once again, slowly and hyper aware of every tiny move Merlin make in case he didn’t want Arthur getting close. But aside from a small shift in his seat and his eyes flicking back and forth from Arthur’s face to the ground he gave no other reaction.

He paused when he was a few inches away from Merlin, their eyes locking.

“I really do love you, Merlin.” He almost whispered the words, and pressed his forehead gently against Merlin’s, relieved when the other didn’t pull away.

“You know my family, they’re not as accepting as yours and it’s hard to actually admit everything to them.” Arthur said in stumbling words, feeling overwhelming him, as Merlin nodded.

“I know, I just wish-” Merlin stopped himself with small head shake.

Arthur’s eyes flicked to Merlin’s lips for a moment, and taking a breath in he closed the distance, and kissed Merlin. It was chaste at first, simply their lips pressing together, then Merlin stood, his arms coming up around Arthur’s shoulders and his tongue licking at his lips.

One of Merlin’s hands snaked around the back of Arthur’s neck, his fingers splaying out over the skin there. It took Arthur a moment to respond in kind, surprised that Merlin was suddenly receptive.

Arthur directed them out of the room, into the corridor and then through the door of his own room, all the while they continued kissing - never parting for a second.

As he turned the light on Arthur pulled back a little, wanting to make sure Merlin was really alright with doing this.

“Are you sure, this is alright?”

~

“Just shut up already.” Merlin said with a pant, as a hand twisted in the blond’s hair and he pulled him back so they were chest to chest, before he pressed his lips hard against Arthur’s once more. The pressure between their lips was almost bruising, but sure enough he managed to draw a pleased moan from the other whilst he pushed his hands up under Merlin’s shirt, trying to take the lead.

Instead Merlin grinned into their kiss, sucking Arthur’s lower lip between his teeth, and pressed himself forwards until he forced Arthur to take a step backwards lest he fall.

A few more steps and Arthur’s heels bumped against the bed. Merlin snuck one hand between them, palm firm against Arthur’s chest under his shirt, and then pushed.

With almost no effort he send Arthur onto his back. The blond shot him a mock scandalised look as Merlin climbed onto the bed, legs straddling his waist.

One of Arthur’s hands reached up, grabbing the front of Merlin’s shirt and pulling him down into a messy meeting of their lips. They both moaned, and Merlin rolled his hips enjoying the feel of Arthur’s erection through his trousers.

He set his fingers about attacking the buttons on Arthur’s shirt, trying to rid him of the fabric as quickly as possible. The anger between them had almost been completely replaced by lust and desire. Whatever went on between them, it could never quite overshadow the attraction they felt for each other.

The rest of their clothes quickly followed Arthur’s shirt, until they were both naked. Merlin continued to take the lead and had Arthur pressed down on the middle of the bed, arms half pinned under Merlin’s legs, whilst Merlin himself was opening Arthur with two slicked fingers.

“Merlin!” Arthur cried out as a finger pressed against his prostate, and he tried to lift his hips to pull Merlin’s fingers deeper.

“Just a tiny bit longer.” Merlin countered, adding another finger just to make completely sure Arthur was ready. He then lifted himself, swinging off of Arthur, settling instead between his legs, and scooting closer until Arthur was able to wrap his legs tightly around Merlin, and attempt to drag him closer, quicker.

With a roll of his eyes Merlin entered Arthur, a drawn out moan issuing from his mouth as he felt Arthur’s tight warmth around him.

Fully seated, Merlin paused, using one hand to squeeze Arthur’s cock in an almost aborted teasing stroke, before he pulled almost out and then sunk back in. 

Merlin set a quick pace, which he refused to let Arthur have any control of, with a staying weight of his hands on the other’s chest, occasionally rubbing against his nipples to draw as many sounds from Arthur’s throat as possible.

It was with an even louder cry that Arthur finally came, covering his own and Merlin’s chests. It took Merlin only two more thrusts as Arthur’s muscles contracted around him before he cried out Arthur’s name, coming deep inside of him.

Arthur’s legs relaxed where they still rested around Merlin, both of them panting and covered in sweat. Pulling out Merlin leant over the edge of the bed, finding Arthur’s shirt and using it to roughly clean them both.

They then maneuvered themselves under the blanket, settling into the soft mattress. They were both emotionally as well as physically drained, but while fine to sleep in the same bed, they made a point of keeping to their own separate sides, before they quickly drifted off.

~

When Merlin opened his eyes it was to a room drowned in darkness. Rolling over carefully his eyes found Arthur, the other clearly still asleep even though specific details were hidden by the shadows, indecipherable in the lack of light. He lingered for a few minutes just staring as his mind thought over everything from the previous night.

Eventually with a small shake of his head, he slipped out from the covers and stood up. He quickly found his clothes where they had been discarded next to the bed, and pulled them on with only a slight difficulty. He knew Arthur would be disappointed when he finally woke up, but he couldn’t muster enough energy to care at this point.

Opening the bedroom door, he spared a last look over his shoulder before he closed it almost silently.

In the house hallway Merlin grabbed his shoes, allowing his body to slump against the wall as he realised just how tired he still was. The longing to just climb back into bed with Arthur, forget anything had happened was strong, but he knew he shouldn’t, that running back would solve nothing. So with a heavy heart he left.

~

Light creeping in around his curtains eventually woke Arthur, he blinked slowly, in no rush to actually get up. Yawning widely he scrubbed at his eyes, before he rolled to the side, expecting to find Merlin, still asleep as the other tended to enjoy sleeping late if he could.

Finding the space besides him empty, he froze.

_Where?_

His mind snapped fully awake, and he sat up, quickly scanning the room in case Merlin was just in the bathroom or getting a drink. He realised that the other’s clothes were no longer on the floor where they had been dropped. 

“Damn it.” He muttered almost under his breath before he resorted to shouting Merlin’s name out, though he was not surprised to be met only with silence. 

Scowling he climbed out of bed, walking to his wardrobe and dressing in fresh clothes. All the while mentally going through the best plan of action for confronting Merlin. 

As he closed the last button on his shirt he settled on seeking Merlin out at his home, if he wasn't already there then he would be eventually, it was just a matter of waiting. 

Outside the day was dull, grey clouds filling the sky and doing their best to smother the sun. There was a chill in the air that made Arthur pull his coat closer, wondering if they were in with a chance of a white Christmas this year. That would be one nice thing out of everything else which seemed to be going wrong. 

Shaking his head, Arthur climbed into his car and set off. 

~

Merlin wasn't in when Arthur arrived at his boyfriend's, so he set himself up on the doorstep, studiously ignoring the querying looks that were sent his way as people walked past. He was determined, and when Arthur set his mind to something he was incredibly stubborn. 

Ten minutes quickly became an hour, then one hour, two. All the while Arthur stayed planted exactly where he was. 

He had stopped looking up whenever he heard a car approaching sometime after the first hour, so when one pulled up on the drive, just feet from where he was sat, Arthur was hard pressed to contain a jump of surprise. 

His head jerked up as the car door was opened, and out stepped Merlin's tall form. 

The young man said nothing as he stared at Arthur still sat in front of his door, and his expression remained carefully blank. 

There was a moment between them, both staring and neither moving before Merlin approached. He said nothing, just waving at Arthur to get him to move so he could unlock the door. 

Panic flashed through Arthur as it occurred to him that Merlin could easily slam the door and shut him out. No such thing happened however, and Merlin simply stepped further inside, leaving to door ajar for Arthur. 

Entering and closing the door behind him, Arthur was then confronted with Merlin stood rigidly, arms crossed over his chest 

"Well?" He asked, as if he wasn't the one who had snuck out that morning with not a word. 

"What do you mean, 'well' Merlin? You're the one that left." Arthur said forcefully. 

"I was trying to make a point."

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

Arthur wanted to shake Merlin, in an attempt to get him to open up and elaborate what his problem was. For all the other could talk anyone's ear off given half a chance, he was notoriously difficult when it came to serious issues. 

"Explain to me why you left with no goodbye?" Arthur tried to keep his voice level, knowing shouting often caused the other to clam up even more. 

"To show you what it feels like to be forgotten!" Merlin cried, shoulders slumping. "To show you how I feel when you tell others I don't mean anything to you."

Arthur felt his own anger dissolve at that, arms dropping to his sides. 

"I'm sorry if I made you feel like that." He said after a pause, and Merlin looked up from where his gaze had fallen. 

There was a glimmer of hope in Merlin's expression, a glimmer that tugged at Arthur pulling him closer, and so he gave in, allowing himself to be pulled closer, arms lifting and pulling Merlin into a tight embrace. Merlin's head tucking into his neck so his chin rested on wind messed black hair. 

"I love you, and I'm sorry." He stroked one hand slowly up and down Merlin's back, "I'll phone my father and tell him to expect one more." Merlin jerked under his hands, one blue eye peeking up at him. 

"You will?"

"Of course I will, it's what you deserve."


End file.
